Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Brilliant things today
The ice in the river by the creek, which appeared in places to be frozen midstream. Cascades seem to be solidifying, and creating bigger cascades. And where the ice has frozen over the surface of rocks, the water washes behind it making constantly changing patterns of light and dark.
The ice in the river by the creek, which appeared in places to be frozen midstream. Cascades seem to be solidifying, and creating bigger cascades. And where the ice has frozen over the surface of rocks, the water washes behind it making constantly changing patterns of light and dark.
Monday, March 15, 2004
A distinct lack of mindfulness. No-one works here on sundays and mondays; I asked what they do when the leftovers run out before the working week begins. 'Fast' is the witty answer I received. So I raided the freezer and found some meat-free burgers. I made up a fine US style sandwich with seed bread, soyannaise, ketchup and lots of lettuce. I was happily half way through it when I realised I had forgotten to put in the burger. How I laughed! I really find myself very entertaining sometimes. Is that at all funny? Have I been on my own too long?
This says very little about my mindfulness. It says a lot about my expectations of the flavour of meat-free vegetarian products. I generally avoid them. They are invariably horrendously over-processed products, with cringe inducing names. Fakin' Bacon is one we have at home, which I know Fizzwhizz is keen on. The best name I have seen I spotted here earlier on in my stay. Soya frankfurters ingeniously titled Not Dogs. Inspired.
This says very little about my mindfulness. It says a lot about my expectations of the flavour of meat-free vegetarian products. I generally avoid them. They are invariably horrendously over-processed products, with cringe inducing names. Fakin' Bacon is one we have at home, which I know Fizzwhizz is keen on. The best name I have seen I spotted here earlier on in my stay. Soya frankfurters ingeniously titled Not Dogs. Inspired.
Saturday, March 13, 2004
It snowed. Quite heavily. Does everyone feel the thrill of opening the curtains in the morning to discover the world has changed so tangibly? It makes me feel like a child, like walking in puddles and making footprints, or seeing a fire engine. Or really big cranes, the ones with lots of huge wheels.
That was two days ago. Then we had glorious spring sunshine, which imperceptibly but rather quickly turned the colour back up on this landscape. I have become fascinated with watching the temporary mini streams which tinkle down the slopes here when the melt begins. Taxloss and I discussed the joy of constructing dams in such circumstances not long ago. I bet he is still rather good at it.
Then this morning; snow again. Splendid! So maybe I will build dams.
Jojou and the hollywood star
This is in an article in Newsweek about actress Ashley Judd which I read purely because it had a picture of her in a bra, and I find her very pretty. I am so glad I was distracted so. The thrust of the article is that due to her poor movie choices, her career has stalled. This quote is from 'the head of an indie company';
"She's stuck in a trap, and she's going to have to chew off part of her leg to get out of it."
Now I may be missing something, but this does not seem to be a metaphor for anything. Any clues? It offers me no insight into poor Ashley's plight but is is a fantastic image. The thing is, when something like this sounds so sharp and vivid but has absolutely no meaning in context, it really tickles me. This often happens and then someone points out what it means, which kind of spoils it for me. It's one of the reasons I felt such affinity with Zen, the scriptures are full of stuff like this.
So it's time to introduce the original Jojou, my namesake. This story is a koan; a paradox intended to suspend the thinking mind by grinding it to a halt. It is told here by Zen Master Seung Sahn, a truly wonderful being. I never fully got this one but I love it.
Nam Cheon Kills a Cat
Once the monks of the eastern and western halls of the monastery were disputing about a cat. Master Nam Cheon, holding up the cat and pulling out his precepts knife, said, "You! Give me one word and I will save this cat! If you cannot, I will kill it!" No one could answer. Finally, Nam Cheon killed the cat. In the evening, when Jo Ju returned to the temple, Nam Cheon told him of the incident. Jo Ju took off his shoe, put it on his head, and walked away. Nam Cheon said, "If you had been there, I could have saved the cat."
Nam Cheon said, "Give me one word!" At that time, what can you do?
Jo Ju put his shoe on his head. What does this mean?
What does this mean? Here is a clue. If you try to figure it out, you will never understand. When you stop, we will both see.
To finish, Newsweek also has a cigarette advert, with a picture of a man smoKing. It seemed curiously anachronistic, and again reminded me of being little, when we had ads like this at home.
That was two days ago. Then we had glorious spring sunshine, which imperceptibly but rather quickly turned the colour back up on this landscape. I have become fascinated with watching the temporary mini streams which tinkle down the slopes here when the melt begins. Taxloss and I discussed the joy of constructing dams in such circumstances not long ago. I bet he is still rather good at it.
Then this morning; snow again. Splendid! So maybe I will build dams.
Jojou and the hollywood star
This is in an article in Newsweek about actress Ashley Judd which I read purely because it had a picture of her in a bra, and I find her very pretty. I am so glad I was distracted so. The thrust of the article is that due to her poor movie choices, her career has stalled. This quote is from 'the head of an indie company';
"She's stuck in a trap, and she's going to have to chew off part of her leg to get out of it."
Now I may be missing something, but this does not seem to be a metaphor for anything. Any clues? It offers me no insight into poor Ashley's plight but is is a fantastic image. The thing is, when something like this sounds so sharp and vivid but has absolutely no meaning in context, it really tickles me. This often happens and then someone points out what it means, which kind of spoils it for me. It's one of the reasons I felt such affinity with Zen, the scriptures are full of stuff like this.
So it's time to introduce the original Jojou, my namesake. This story is a koan; a paradox intended to suspend the thinking mind by grinding it to a halt. It is told here by Zen Master Seung Sahn, a truly wonderful being. I never fully got this one but I love it.
Nam Cheon Kills a Cat
Once the monks of the eastern and western halls of the monastery were disputing about a cat. Master Nam Cheon, holding up the cat and pulling out his precepts knife, said, "You! Give me one word and I will save this cat! If you cannot, I will kill it!" No one could answer. Finally, Nam Cheon killed the cat. In the evening, when Jo Ju returned to the temple, Nam Cheon told him of the incident. Jo Ju took off his shoe, put it on his head, and walked away. Nam Cheon said, "If you had been there, I could have saved the cat."
Nam Cheon said, "Give me one word!" At that time, what can you do?
Jo Ju put his shoe on his head. What does this mean?
What does this mean? Here is a clue. If you try to figure it out, you will never understand. When you stop, we will both see.
To finish, Newsweek also has a cigarette advert, with a picture of a man smoKing. It seemed curiously anachronistic, and again reminded me of being little, when we had ads like this at home.
Monday, March 08, 2004
Its official
Silence does exist. After an entire day of staring at the floor, awareness broke free of the gravity of my thinking and floated free. Just the birds shouting outside, the drip of snow melting from the roof. And the floor. The knots in the pine boards cease to be what my mind tells me to be and become a glorious constellation, possibly huge bodies many miles away. One moment free of myself and it is all worthwhile. Silence; not an absence of sound, but a suspension of mediation, of knowing what is heard. To see as a child again.
In response to a rather desolate email I sent upon my arrival here I received a beautiful message of love and support from the Kitten, who is facing her own shadows in Sydney, and doing dolphin work too. I cannot remember such kind and loving words written solely for me before. It moved me deeply and helped me settle into my work here.
The hot tub is my other great comfort. Like a tiny, very warm swimming pool, or a large tiled bath with chlorine. It has a sign with all kinds of dos and don'ts. Item 2 says 'do not use alone'. Item 4 says 'no more than 2 people'. I have not managed to comply with all these criteria. Item 5 says that if you spend more than 15 minutes in the tub you may get dizzy, Not if I am not allowed to use it while under the influence of any of a long list of substances in item 1. Item 6 says that if you do get into difficulty, call the emergency services. It does not say how.
Silence does exist. After an entire day of staring at the floor, awareness broke free of the gravity of my thinking and floated free. Just the birds shouting outside, the drip of snow melting from the roof. And the floor. The knots in the pine boards cease to be what my mind tells me to be and become a glorious constellation, possibly huge bodies many miles away. One moment free of myself and it is all worthwhile. Silence; not an absence of sound, but a suspension of mediation, of knowing what is heard. To see as a child again.
In response to a rather desolate email I sent upon my arrival here I received a beautiful message of love and support from the Kitten, who is facing her own shadows in Sydney, and doing dolphin work too. I cannot remember such kind and loving words written solely for me before. It moved me deeply and helped me settle into my work here.
The hot tub is my other great comfort. Like a tiny, very warm swimming pool, or a large tiled bath with chlorine. It has a sign with all kinds of dos and don'ts. Item 2 says 'do not use alone'. Item 4 says 'no more than 2 people'. I have not managed to comply with all these criteria. Item 5 says that if you spend more than 15 minutes in the tub you may get dizzy, Not if I am not allowed to use it while under the influence of any of a long list of substances in item 1. Item 6 says that if you do get into difficulty, call the emergency services. It does not say how.
Friday, March 05, 2004
Springwater, NY. Middle of nowheresville, USA. I hurt my back carrying a huge bag on the tube to the airport, then sat in a aeroplane for several hours in pain. No veggie meal booked. I find I am here with everything that hurts me; my body, my thoughts, my resistance. And no more Flower. It seems that to be fully present one must acknowledge everything in one's awareness, and that includes things long ignored. Well I seem to have contrived a situation where there is nowhere to hide from myself, nothing to do but practise. With great food and a hot tub!
The centre has little notes everywhere to tell you exactly how to do everything, (men please use urinals in bathroom 6, they use less water). Under a note on the fridge which reads 'please initial your food' someone has inscribed P.I.Y.F. I was also amused to see that the box marked 'common hats', ie hats for everyone to use, was customised by me last time I was here into 'uncommon hats'.
I am paying my way here as a volunteer. Which means that I am cleaning toilets and vacuuming. But I am doing it with total mindfulness....
The centre has little notes everywhere to tell you exactly how to do everything, (men please use urinals in bathroom 6, they use less water). Under a note on the fridge which reads 'please initial your food' someone has inscribed P.I.Y.F. I was also amused to see that the box marked 'common hats', ie hats for everyone to use, was customised by me last time I was here into 'uncommon hats'.
I am paying my way here as a volunteer. Which means that I am cleaning toilets and vacuuming. But I am doing it with total mindfulness....
